“There’s no place like home.” For those who have had a childhood steeped in compassion, respect and trust, home remains a safe place, a secure base, a place to return again and again later in life with enthusiasm, gratitude and joy.

For many parents, the memory of home can remain place of deep ambivalence and can stir longings, hopelessness, fear and anger in an instant as old scripts play out with their own children. What about our adult relationships with our own parents--how do we foster good relationships without re-enacting our childhood roles and reinforcing our old (persistent) struggle for validation and acceptance?

Whether we live close to our family of origin or 3000 miles away, unresolved wounds are always alive in us. Developing healthy boundaries is an act of love toward ourselves--and an expression of love for those in our lives with whom we want to be in authentic relationship--regardless of their choices, circumstances or approval.

What is the difference between building barriers...and having boundaries? Between self-protection...and self-preservation? How can we use these healthy boundaries to grow ourselves without losing ourselves--and still love our family in the face of their own reactions, pain and stories?

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