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Driving Lessons: Lu's Blog

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Let the Baby Drive: Lu's book

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We're living in the Age of Distraction. We're also loving in the age of distraction. We may not always notice our disconnection, but our children can always sense when we're here but not there. Often, they have gracious and forgiving ways of letting us know. When we can receive their message and their bid for reconnection, we find our way back to each other. We return to tender. In those moments, we restore our relationship, our balance, and our capacity to enjoy the ride and truly be present.

 

-- Lu Hanessian

 

"Doesn't Anybody Know," composed and produced by Lu Hanessian

 

Insights & Inspiration

 

"Walking the tightrope of our lives…"

 

"Our bodies are amazing vessels of responsiveness and adaptation. When we are in stress, cortisol and adrenaline are released, and processes begin internally that prepare us to flee by sending blood to our muscles to run. When we are in love, oxytocin is released–the love and connection hormone–and we feel safe, happy and close. When we are relaxed and content, our bodies release serotonin, the peace chemical. When we try something new and enjoy it, our bodies release the reward chemical dopamine, and we feel excited and good in the moment.

 

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"Sometimes the biggest milestones just happen. And all we can do is witness with gratitude and awe…"

 

 "I could have never planned the moment. I didn’t know when freedom would feel right enough, safe enough, appropriate enough. And I suppose, that’s the poignancy of parenting. When we are really tapped in, tuned in, paying attention, in the moment, present, we don’t spend too much time worrying about future choices or futilely scheduling milestones, because they are by nature, exempt from the burden of expectation. Parenting is sacred ground. There are so many things that happen along the way that are not decisions or even concerns, but natural unfoldings."      

 

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"Seen, Soothed, Secure, Safe = Self-regulation"

 

"Self-regulation is a core strength. When we say we don’t have it or struggle with it, we are essentially saying we cannot access one of our most important core strengths. 

Self-regulation is not a gift or talent, not the domain of special or enlightened people.
From the moment we come into the world, we are learning to self-regulate through noticing and heeding our body’s signals and needs. As babies, we don’t have words, but we have wisdom. We cry out when our body signals hunger, thirst, fatigue, fear, need for touch, comfort, connection. Attachment is a motivational drive. In every one of us."

 

 

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"Do you erupt like Mount Vesuvius?"

"What makes you react?
Not respond…but react.
Like…one minute you’re feeling pretty good and then next you flew off the handle with no warning.
Do you ever do that?

What makes you react like that?

 

I feel like I’m being invalidated, says one mama.
I feel like nobody cares about my needs, says another.
I feel like I could collapse with fatigue and people would still be asking me for things, says another.

I get this hot lava feeling, says one papa.
I feel like I’m being dismissed, says another.
I feel like I don’t count, says another.

I feel like I messed up.
I feel like Im being taken advantage of.
I feel like I’m not appreciated
.
"

 

- READ IN FULL by clicking the on the photo

 

 

Create your parent-digm shift. TM

All site content, course curricula, and WYSH photographs are copyrighted material. Copyright 2009 Lu Hanessian. All rights reserved. Photos by Lisa Trakis for WYSH, LLC. No part of this site may be reproduced without prior written permission from Lu Hanessian.